Why Do I Hate When People Hold My Pets?
Let’s be honest, a large part of the fun of having pets is showing them off. But that doesn’t mean everyone gets a chance to pick them up and hold them close. I’m sure you’ve thought it, maybe even said it aloud, “Why do I hate when people hold my pets?!” Sometimes we feel our boundaries are being crossed and worry our precious companions might not be comfortable either.
There are many reasons why you might not want other people handling your pets. For one, you might just generally dislike strangers touching what you see as your belongings. But you also might be worried your pet is uncomfortable with being held by strangers, especially if your pet is shy or anxious. Some people might not know how to properly hold and support a dog’s body, which can be dangerous. Some dogs react poorly to the high-pitched voices and sudden movements many people use around puppies and small dogs. And some dogs, especially puppies, might nip out of fear when being held by a stranger.
Why Our Pets Might Hate It Too
Dogs don’t experience touch the same way humans do. We might think we’re showing affection by hugging our dogs, but many dogs hate being hugged. Dogs might see hugs as a form of dominance and perceive being hugged as threatening.
To a dog, being patted on the head is also something they dislike. The same goes for being kissed—dogs don’t understand kisses the same way humans do and often try to move away, flatten their ears, or lick their lips if they are uncomfortable.
Dominance plays a big role in how dogs interact. Direct eye contact, especially from a stranger, can be seen as a dominance challenge. This means looking a dog in the eye as you approach it could trigger a fearful or even aggressive response, even if you mean well. It’s best to avert your eyes and approach from the side when meeting a new dog.
Why Socialization Matters
Socializing your dog or puppy properly can help prevent fear and aggression later in life. But socializing your dog does not mean letting every stranger who walks by pick them up. Introducing your dog to new people in a controlled and safe way can help them become more comfortable with different people, sights, and sounds.
A good way to socialize your dog without putting them in a situation they might find scary is to have people your dog doesn’t know approach from the side and toss treats on the ground near them. Let the dog approach the stranger and sniff them if they want. Don’t let strangers crowd your dog, stare directly at them, or reach for their face or head.
What to Do When People Want to Hold Your Pet
So how can you prevent strangers from reaching for your dog? The sources and our conversation history don’t contain any specific advice for this situation. However, based on the information in the sources, being polite but firm is likely the best way to deal with strangers who want to hold your pet.
You can tell people, “He’s in training,” or “She’s a little shy,” and keep walking. If a stranger’s behavior is particularly egregious, you could try the nuclear option and firmly tell them to leave you alone. However, depending on the person, this could lead to conflict.
If you are approached by someone with children who want to meet your dog, it’s important to talk to both the child and the parent. Tell the parent you’re working on training and explain to the child that your dog might get scared and nip if someone they don’t know tries to hold them.
The Importance of Clear Communication
Clear communication with your pet is essential for a strong bond. Dogs primarily rely on body language to understand us, so paying attention to what your body is saying is important. To get a feel for how much your body language is conveying, try spending a day interacting with your dog without using any words. You might be surprised by how much you communicate with your dog without realizing it.
Clear communication with strangers can prevent your dog from being put in a situation where they feel stressed, threatened, or scared. It also helps to have clear, consistent boundaries. Dogs don’t understand exceptions to the rules.
By setting boundaries, advocating for our pets, and focusing on positive interactions, we can create a happier, less stressful environment for our furry friends.
